Q: The last felon who prepared our meals tried to poison the entire population so they hired a professional cook. Now should I starve myself?
A: Probably not (but don’t be the first one to chow down), anything you eat in prison is calorie free.
I know I just said that it only counts if a thief cooked your food, but this is a back up rule. Being in prison means that you have disregarded societal rules. You may have hurt someone, decided not to pay your taxes or robbed a convenience store. You spit in the face of the law. Once you ignore those rules, all other rules go out the window. Most notably, the rule that food has calories. Be careful though, other rules that we take for granted no longer apply either. Gravity, time and space, just to name a few.
Pros: Maybe your family will send you a cake (tell them to skip the file baked into the center). You can even eat the whole thing in one sitting!
Cons: If you were falsely imprisoned and did not actually commit a crime, then you must still follow rules including calories. It’s sad really, screwed by the justice system and by my calorie rules.
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