Sunday, April 10, 2011

Restaurants: Part 5


Q: Is it unhealthy to eat off of other people’s plates?

A: Only if you know them.


Ahhh the wonder of being poor. For some it may have been high school, for others, college. But everyone at some point or another (just go with this, ok?) has felt the need to table surf. For those who are denying any knowledge of the term, table surfing does not refer to standing on a 24 hour Diner table at 3 A.M. and singing the Beach Boys while you send hash browns and western omelet sailing across the restaurant with your foot. (I don't know if there is a term for this, but perhaps you should drink less in the future. ) Nor is it a distant relative of crowd surfing. You are not at a concert and if you dive backwards off a table, be prepared to hurt yourself. No, table surfing refers to eating what’s left on other people’s tables as you walk to your seat.


Pros: You did not order this food. Someone else ordered this food, therefore they requested and have already consumed the calories. You come along, "Ahah! Calorie free food just waiting to be eaten!" It's a beautiful thing.


Cons: You may contract a disease from eating stranger’s leftovers, and your friends and family may stop inviting you out in public.


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